Happy New Year

So not my best New Years ever. The wife is not feeling well and has gone to bed - leaving me with the TV on mute, listening to a Star Wars podcast (Order 66 - check it), and typing this. Bring on the New Year - HAH. There's a joke in here about waiting for a ball to drop - I'll let you run with that.

Work is going well - bonus day - so always a good day. Especially since so many are not getting some. I've been on the wrong side of a pink slip/lay-off notice/sold the company. Take heart - every time this has happened to me, my feet have landed in a better place. Here's hoping for a good landing.

So...

I waited in my cube for the call. Still trying to fix that one armrest that never seems to be right or stay put. Benny is on the other side of the fake wall that barely makes a pass at trying to preserve any privacy. He's tapping. We're both on the way out. Our application fell out of favor with the new VP. Didn't really have a chance. None of his sycophants (I looked that one up after someone used it) had any experience with it so it was automatically suspect. Probably didn't have enough current buzzword acronyms on the website.

Quote from the podcast "Icing on the Cake of Shame" - sweet - especially since it's about the Dallas Cowboys. I hope to use on the Yankees.

Anyway, I tell him to stop tapping, and I don't think he even heard me.

"What"

"Stop tapping - it's annoying", I tell him.

"You always say that", he looks at me with a smirk, still tapping.

"You're always tapping - you're going to get carpal tunnel whatever", I smirk back. "And you're about to lose your benefits".

OK, that went over the line, and I'm about to apologize when a phone rings. Silence. It's not mine. Someone a couple chairs over gets up and walks toward the big office. More silence.

"That was wrong dude - your Mama wrong", smirk.

"Your Mama gives me benefits", double smirk.

For just a moment, all is right with the world.

Ring - my phone - my boss.

"You need to go down to the VPs office. Take something to write with. I'll talk to you after...hopefully." She sounds tired. She's looked tired for a couple weeks, ever since she came by and told us to stop any new development.

*******************
"What are we supposed to do?" That was Benny, he's quicker than I am.

"Don't get caught." Silence, what are you supposed to say.

Benny says it, "caught doing what?"

"Whatever you can find to keep you busy. Online training, companies book library, whatever..." She closes her eyes and puts her head down. "I've been told to stop all new and current development for your app. I wasn't told what to do in its place."
*******************

I grab a pen and pad and walk to the back.

Off to Gaming

It's Tuesday - and that normally means gaming.

Role-playing games are my favorite hobby. Playing the trombone is second, but I don't do that nearly as much.

Anyway, there's a good chance that I'm DMing tonight and will be able to take play the monsters tonight - fun. If not, It is still enjoyable to sit around and shoot the bull with the other players.

One thing about role-playing like this (face to face, pencils paper and dice as opposed to on-line) is that it's a social interaction. I've learned a lot about topics besides gaming just by spending time with this same group for almost ten years (wow).

So what have you learned wookiee (I can hear you - really).

Parenting - almost all of us have kids - and every parent talks about their kids.
Money - hey the economy happens
Pop Culture or what passes for it amongst gaming. I wouldn't have found Firefly without my gaming group.

I'm sure there's more, but it's almost time to go roll dice, save the dragon and slay the princess.

Magic Pills

They're not magic pills. They have side effects. The main one being the fact that you have to explain to your son why he's taking a pill. Why it wont make him any different. You have to explain to him that there isn't an end to it. Why...

God doesn't give you more than you can handle.

God also doesn't consult before handing out the burdens.

ADHD doesn't have a cure, it has treatments. I thank God that we know now - that we didn't struggle through and wait till things were different - worse.

Rowan is different when he takes the medicine. He's able to focus, instead of scattering all directions. It also makes him less impulsive, less hyper.

I think it is still Rowan. That's the most important thing, that it is still Rowan inside the little boy body.

We're going to try behavioral changes also. The first is Taekwando. The second is talking to a psychologist at the same clinic that we took Dominic to for his autism diagnosis.

This feels like a marathon, and someone is moving my finish line.

Do better tools help?

So I'm the proud recipient of a new MacBook Pro.

A profound thank you to everyone that gave me a gift card along the way. One of the things I promise to do is to update this blog more frequently. Based on past results that wont be too hard.

Anyway, a wonderful toy filled Christmas was had by all at the Larson household. We now have even less floor space than I thought as possible. It is only a matter of time before someone needs a tetanus booster after puncturing their foot on a Hot wheel or Pokeman toy.

More to come. I promise a kid update, and even stories.

Back Again - Again

So another lapse has left me writing a post that tries to explain why I lapsed.

So I lapsed - there.

Things remain topsy turvy.

Son number getting some great help for his autism. He is in a blended program for 4 year olds. Son number one is now being tested for ADHD - we think he is. He has been having trouble in kindergarten, and only a behavior contract with liberal allotment of prizes is keeping things going. He just seems to have very little impulse control.

Jen is doing great with scrapbooking, and surviviing the larger class sizes at her school.

Work is going well, still busy thank goodness. A fair amount of travel, but will probably be in-town through the end of the year.

More - I promise - to come.

Volunteering at GenCon

at the end of last years GenCon, I felt like I was missing something. No that's not exactly right. I felt like there were things going on that I was missing out on. I know there are plenty of other things going on - board games, minis, card games, but these aren't things that I would want to do. Rather it was the things I don't normally participate I that I was interested in. I thought that one way to get a window in was to volunteer. It sort of worked.

I volunteered for 16 hours - Friday and Sunday. Friday was OK. after a boring start filling program books, I got to work in the autograph booth for the rest of my shift. But Sunday (when I rarely do anything anyway) I spent just about the whole time checking badges at one of the doors.

I don't think I'll volunteer next year, because I felt like I was missing out while I wasn't really getting a positive GenCon experience.

Perhaps next year I'll GM a couple games to see what that is like.

Back from GenCon

I'm back from the biggest geek/nerd/gamer weekend of the year - GenCon - the best four days of gaming. I did a couple things differently this year, I went to some seminars, and I volunteered. The panels were great. The first was about your approach to writing. There were a great variety of opinions and techniques from both full-time and part-time authors. Some worked steady hours - the same thing M - F, and some just worked either part-time per day, or just weekends. a lot of it seemed to depend on deadlines.

The second seminar was about books author should read, and besides Strunk & Whites Elements of Style, and Steven Kings On Writing. There were a couple more, including some by Orson Scott Card.

I think the thing that stuck with me from both seminars was that you're not a writer unless you write - so here I am again.

The third seminar was a panel discussion about podcasting. Ever since I got my iPhone, I've been listening to podcasts more and more. For stories I love escapepod, and podcastlle - both can be found at escapepod.org. d20radio.com hosts both a Star Wars and D&D 4e gaming podcast that are both excellent. I've been trying to listen to more roleplaying game podcasts, and rpgpodcast.org ha a great selection.

I'll post more about games and volunteering later.

Office Visit

Jenny brought the boys for hot dogs in the park that is right outside my office on Monday. They had a great time chasing the birds and squirrels, and running on the rocks by the little stream. Dominic was a little to outgoing with strangers, pausing to say hello to everyone he met. Even Rowan commented (tattled) that he was talking to strangers.

Of course everyone then had to go up to the office and use the bathroom. As Dominic ran up and said hello to everyone, Jenny would explain that it was part of his autism to not really have any personal boundaries.

Since I have only told a few people in the office that Dominic is autistic, this was some news and of course required some explaining. As outgoing as I am, I'm not really that good at explaining or talking about Dominic's autism. It is easier because he is so outgoing and pleasant, but it is certainly not easy.

Anyway, now most of the office knows, and I guess that's a good thing because on one of these visits I'm sure he will have a tantrum, or not want to change from what he is currently doing. It will make explaining easier.

One more step in autistic parenting.

What Does World Wide DnD Mean

I love DnD - not as much as family, faith, friends and all that, but I still love it. I don't really know why, I guess I can't really identify that one thing about it that keeps me coming back to playing. It could be the imagination - I like making up stories and even better starting a story and seeing other people add/change/destroy it. It could be the groups that I've played with. I see a lot of similarities in the people that are drawn to DnD. Lets face it - we're geeks.

Anyway, today is World Wide Dungeons & Dragons Day. It's a new celebration that Wizards of the Coast has started to publicize the game. I know it's there just to sell more games, but it is great to see all the folks that come out to celebrate. These are my people, and I am one with them. We play DnD, and today we are loud and proud.

An Official Diagnosis

Spent Monday and Tuesday taking Dominic to and talking with Doctors and Psychologists and therapists at the Alexander Center. They all seemed very interested, and took the time to read and study the work done by the staff in our school district as well as doing their own testing. The one new component was the speech therapy. The therapist looked at overall speech levels, and compared that to communicative or social speech and vocabulary. That was something that really defined some of the issues that Dominic has with other kids.

Their official diagnosis was Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not otherwise Specified (PDDNOS - yes it is vague). I try to explain it to people as Aspergers without the repetitive of focused interest. Although that assumes people know what Aspergers is. Might be easier to explain it as High Functioning Autism, but that carries its own stigma or stereotype.

Anyway, they are suggesting some organized and structures play or socialization groups, and some occupational therapy (play therapy, because that's his job right now). My biggest concern is that he is ready for Kindergarten, and is a capable learner. I know he's smart - I want him to have opportunities.

I'm glad that is behind us, we can take this official diagnosis to the school district and make sure Dominic has all the help he needs.


******************************************************************
Story Ideas continued:

So what happens when you like your "new" personality better than the old. What happens when you find/capture/kill someone from your previous experiences.

What happens when your memory wipe is on top of another memory wipe?

Getting Ready to Game

Tonight is gaming night - Wed. night for the summer to work around Kid activities.

I'll be continuing the Star Wars "Dawn of Defiance" campaign. So far I have really liked the way the adventures are plotted out. Takes a lot of the responsibility off my hands, and the way they setup the combat encounters is very nice. Only thing I don't like is that there is a little bit to much "railroading" of the players. I'm going to try and fix that with the next module by using some of the ideas from the wizards boards about setting up the adventure.

The other getting ready to game piece is thinking about Dominic and Rowan getting ready to game. They were very interested in the Pokeman and other cartoons (and commercials) on the cartoon network, so I'm wondering about getting them started with that or with miniatures. Might be to early, but would be fun to try.

*******************************************************

Story idea:

Privateers capture people off vessels they take to replace crew lost in the battle. Using a combination of memory wipe and skill insertion they place keep them. What if the skills are set fine, but the memory wipe doesn't work?

Still Catching Up

Enjoying a weekend in Bloomington - hotel, waterpark, MOA - all the things a family can do in one short weekend.

Dominic is doing pretty well - only really melting down when he couldn't immediately get on a ride. He even went on a couple of "roller-coaster" style rides. After some initial trepidation he was even holing his arms up and yelling - so cool to see.

Rowan was a trooper, and kept up without any complaint, even when Dominic was misbehaving. He was stellar at the restaurant, and very good before that at IKEA.


For me I'm having a good time, trying not to worry too much about what I look like in a bathing suit and relax.

Break Number 2

So I'm finding that travel makes it hard to keep up with your blog entries.

I spent the last couple weeks traveling to both Omaha NE, and Nashville TN. I at least got to see a minor league ball game in Nashville. The play was just OK, and the stadium was truly bad, but the beer was good, and I got to sit behind some scouts. They were making notes on players, and even had their own radar guns. I wonder how they got them through security at the airport?

Nice to be back home.

We are spending the weekend at a hotel in Bloomington in honor of our 10th anniversary - yeah us. The boys are really enjoying the waterpark (I guess I am too), and they have their own bunk beds in the room.

Dominic has been doing really well at pre-school. He is being a little more social, and has not had a bad day in awhile.

Travel

I spent Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday in Omaha NE giving a training class. It went fine, but it was the first time I'd spent away from Dominic since he was diagnosed with autism. I think he did OK. It wasn't anything I did, I think the credit goes to Ginger from the district ECE. It has been a good few weeks (except for a few days where he wouldn't stop playing to go potty) for Dominic, he is even trying to interact a little better. I'm more worried about Rowan that he doesn't start acting out because he isn't getting enough attention.

My only concern for Dominic is that he hasn't moved up to the next class in pre-school. I'm a little concerned that he will get bored with the activities and start acting out out of boredom.

I'm off again next week to Nashville, just fow a couple days, and then we are taking our "fake" vacation to the MOA. That should be great fun.

Mothers Day Weekend

So this was Mothers Day weekend, which meant a lot of time with the boys. Saturday, Rowan was invited to a birthday party, so I took Dominic shopping for presents and cards. We went to Williams Sonoma to get some wine glasses for Jenny, and he was great. He charmed the sales ladies, and was very good in the store, not touching anything (and there was a lot to touch).

After that, we went to Borders to get Mom's day cards, and some coins for the fountain.

Lastly, it was off to "Space aliens", a Chuckee Cheese knock off with games, and pretty good food. Dominic likes to ride the spaceship, and Daddy likes to win tickets.

Anyway, Dominic was very good all day until late that night when he was very tired, and hadn't had a nap. It rained buckets all afternoon and evening, so the boys were cooped up, and going stir crazy.

Sunday was almost as good - we flew kites in the morning, worked in the garden, watched Star Wars while Mom went t Archivers, and then to PF Changs for dinner (Great Wall of Chocolate).

Dominic was squirely, but OK. Rowan was also a little squirely, but OK. Note to self - no chopsticks for little boys.

I think Jenny had a good weekend, she got to do some of the things she loves, and didn't have a lot of pressure otherwise.

The older Dominic gets, the more I can see his autism at work. I guess it might be the differences between him and Rowan, but also the way he can retreat into himself and his own imaginings.

I think he has come a long way since last fall, but I can see that we will be working with him - forever. Well, we are still getting help and diagnosis so we will see how this goes. He has another round of diagnosis the first week of June with the medical group from Park Nicolett. Here is where we can get the actual medical diagnosis for his condition, and hopefully some different treatment options.

I'm off travelling this week - Monday through Wed. I hope the boys do fine.

Free Comics and Iron Man

First off - Iron Man was very cool. Good acting, awesome sfx, and a pretty good story. It should make silos full of cash for Marvel.

Free comic book day was cool also - got some good comics, and Rowan seems very interested in them. This along with his new love of drawing has me thinking (better stop that).

Sunday was a day with the boys. Jenny had a choir thing about 2 hours away, so she left early, and wasn't back until late afternoon. The boys and I cleaned house, watched movies, played on the computer, went to the gym and the pool, had lunch outside at McDonalds, and tried to relax and take naps (no love there). Not a bad day. We ended it by dropping the car off for tires (ouch), and then going shopping at Target. Got baseball mitts for the boys, and so had to go out in the yard and play for 30 minutes after we got home.

I got to grill both nights, so that was good - burgers and chicken.

Dominic had a good weekend. He really loves his baseball mitt, and is listening better to directions when he throws. I think it is good that Rowan loves it, because he can copy him. Still too much giggling while he plays, and he still gets off in his own universe pretty easily.

A Pretty Good Week

Dominic has been having a pretty good week. I picked up the boys Thursday afternoon because Jenny had conferences at school, and his teacher said he had a really good day. They went on a field trip to PetCo, and he talked about the animals that he saw - birdies mostly. We watched the "Bee Movie" (not good), and even though Dominic wasn't very interested, he wasn't destructive either.

I hope they move him up to the next class soon, I think he needs to practice interacting with older kids more. I don't think the peer pressure wil have any affect on him, I just want him to see older kids interacting to get an idea of how he should interact. This is probably something to ask Ginger about. I certainly don't want him to get frustrated and start acting out again.

Tomorrow is Free Comic Book day, so I'm going to take him to The Source. Should be interesting with all the people there. After that its off to see Iron Man with some of the Geeks - cant wait.

Gaming Groups

Gaming groups are odd. This shouldn't really come as any type of surprise. I mean look at the type of activity they get together to do - slaying princesses, rescuing dragons - you know the stereotype. So how do these groups stay together. Inertia is a big part of it. It's hard to find a group that you "fit" into that play the types of games you like - so once you do, you stick with it. Like interests are another reason. I have found that, in general, there is a common interest in science, science fiction/fantasy, movies, and TV shows. If someone at the game table quotes something "I've got a bad feeling about this" or "Have fun storming the castle", you can be sure someone else will get the reference. Lastly and hopefully the most important, friendship. People who play roleplaying games often have a hard time making friends. There are exceptions of course - I am describing a stereotype here. So once you make friends with the other people around the table, it becomes more about the people around the table, and less about what is on the table.

I'm lucky. I chanced upon a good group after moving to a new city and trying to start over. We are mostly (I said mostly) normal. I've been "playing" with them for about ten years - and that's a long time for a gaming group.

Now we are having some scheduling issues - kids and after school activities. I know we'll get over it, but it is kind of a bummer because I know I'll miss a few weeks.

I'll miss playing with my friends

Weekend with the Boys

Jenny escaped to a scrapbooking event Saturday, so it was just me and the boys. We watched a few movies, played with some Legos (I got out my "stash" and shared it with Rowan), and played some hide-n-seek before going to McDonalds playland for lunch. After lunch it was another movie (new Backyardigans) and some computer time.

All in all they were pretty good. Not too much complaining or fighting, and so we went to Culvers for ice-cream. A good day for Dad too.

Because of choir at church, I pretty much had the boys Sunday. I think Jenny was getting nervous about school work. We went to Lifetime Fitness and they played while I worked out. Then, we all went swimming which beaks down into them jumping on me from the side of the pool. Oh well - still fun. The boys just can't seem to listen after a session in the pool, so some angry words from me required to get their attention.

When one biy can't listen, it seems to be contagious. And when Dominic decides not to listen, but rather narrate his thoughts it is very difficult to get back on track.

Anyway next weekend will be at least a swap. Saturday is Free Comic Book Day, and hopefully a trip on my own to see Iron Man in the Theatres. Sunday is a choir trip for Jenny, so at least a half-day with the boys for me.

Travel

Haven't had to travel much for the past few months, but now I have two trips in May, and probably more coming in June. I feel bad about these, because it leaves Jenny with both boys. With a little luck, I can hold off now until after school ends the first week of June.

Ginger, Dominic's "helper", has made some great recommendations for therapy and a pre-school program for the fall. I keep thinking that he should start some kind of music program - piano or violin. Jenny is worried about failure - that he will be frustrated and give up. I guess I am more hopeful. Maybe I'll take the boys to a music store on Saturday. I'd like to look at pianos also.

A Break in Service

My first interruption - and me with blogging guilt for not posting for over a week. Does it matter if no one is reading? I guess it matters to me.

Had a lot of fun that past few days at church playing in the Blues Brothers band for the youth dinner theatre program. A lot of work for only a few minutes on stage but fun nonetheless.

This last Sunday was the first day of registration for GenCon. My geek buds Dave, Barb, and Scott all gathered at Scott's house with our laptops and decided on events and times, and even got into most of what we wanted. Much fun and beer. Now the waiting.

Jenny and I took Dominic to his first appointment at the Alexander Institute. The social worker Amy was very nice and asked a lot of the same questions as the folks at the ECC, and I think they are coming to the same conclusion - Dominic is a High Functioning Aspergers child. They may have some Occupational Therapy that they can offer for social interactions and that would be great. We go back for more interviews late in May, depending on schedules.

So life moves on. Dominic has had some tough days at pre-school, but they seem to be working OK with him. And, I think they appreciate Ginger coming in every week to help.

Sundays at Church with the Boys

I have noticed that there is a marked difference for how people treat or "look" at Dominic depending if they know he is autistic or not. I noticed it today at church waiting in line for a treat. Jenny has told a few people in church that Dominic is autistic/has aspergers, and it is interesting to see how they react to him. It is like they are diagnosing him for themselves.

(aside: my browsers dictionary didn't recognize aspergers - I had to add it)

Or worse yet, waiting for him to do some sort of trick. Those who don't know just treat him like a normal child. After a few minutes they realize that he may not be responding directly to them, or not following their conversation, b ut they chalk that up to normal 4 year old behavior.

The boys were very good in church, even with the extra long service because of communion and the installation of the new pastor. The only bit of trouble was showboating by Rowan during Sunday School.

I promised them Happy meals for lunch - I think they made it even if Rowan made me angry by running around during the singing before sunday school.

Busy week this week, training at work, evening program at church, and a doctor appointment for Dominic on Friday AM. Week should go by fast.

Family

Told my brother about Dominic having Autism/Aspergers. He was sympathetic, and was concerned about him getting a label. I don't think that right now that is too much of a concern - we need the label to get the extra services. He kept repeating that he's only four, and I just kept thinking that I'm glad we figured this out now.

I also ventured into the very murky waters of organizing family reunions - at my Mothers behest. Don't know how this will turn out, the best time for Kirk conflicts with a reunion for my Dad's high school.

Mariners have won 2 in a row - series with Anaheim this weekend.

Money and Drains

Came home to a leaky water heater last night. Sigh....

Probably $900 to fix/replace. Able to get a replacement within one day and the plumber seems nice - flat fee to replace, plus permit for the city.

Going to have to cut back on costs for awhile to pay. This together with the tax bill is going to put us in the red this month.

Is it Monday Yet

I love the weekends. Not having to wakeup to an alarm is the best thing ever. However, I seem to spend the rest of the weekend doing the things I couldn't do during the week - clean, laundry, taxes, other paperwork. I know that this is not entirely true, I got to work-out, and played baseball outside with the boys. But, it is perhaps the time I have to sit still and notice how dirty the house is that gets me feeling this way. In point of fact, I need to do laundry, and clean the bathroom this afternoon while I would rather be just sitting and watching the ballgame.

Sometimes it is a lot easier to get up on Monday and know that you have to just get to work. Thank goodness I like my job.

Aspergers in IT

A great article from Computerworld about people with Asergers (Aspies) in IT departments. People with aspergers have the correct personal skill set to make good at tasks, but don't - can't - make good workers or worse yet if they get promoted - good managers.

People with aspergers are normally smart enough to figure out the social cues that they normally miss, but it is an effort.

I think most interesting were the comments from Microsoft that they have a buddy system that helps people with aspergers "learn" the system.

Link to the article in case anyone is looking:
Article

Take Me Out

The whole family went out to the Twins home opener last night - in the snow. Paid too much for parking, but it was nice to be close (OK, at least not far away). Even with the snow, the dome was packed. Our seats were pretty far away, but we could see the field pretty well, and we were angled in towards home, so no sitting and craning your neck for 3 hours.

The boys behaved pretty well, but needed too many trips to the bathroom. I think they were fascinated with the trough. Dominic behaved especially well, but needed to do everything his brother did - including going to the potty 4 times.

We only stayed through the 5th inning, but that was almost 8 o'clock so long enough, and Rowan fell asleep on the way home in the car.

Don't know when we will go t a game again, but hopefully one not so crowded.

Behavior

So Rowan is on a disobedient streak lately. Mostly it is doing the thing I ask him not to do "one more time". So don't blow bubbles in your milk - he does it one more time. Today he was blowing bubbles in his juice before Sunday School, and did it one more time - so I took his juice away. He gets so devastated when it happens, but can't seem to associate the punishment with the behavior yet. I hope he starts connecting soon.

Baseball season starts today - hooray!

We have tickets to opening day for the Twins - should be fun. I know the game is sold out. Should have bought an extra ticket so the boys had some m ore room.

We went to see "Horton Hears a Who" yesterday. The boys loved it, and it was easy for parents too. Great story, and no gross jokes or innuendo that I had to explain. The different styles of animation were fun, and made it even more interesting.

Friday Changeup

I am so excited for baseball season to start. I know that the first games have officially been played already in Japan, but until the Mariners play - it hasn't really started for me.

We have tickets to opening day for the Twins - and they're playing the Angels - so I have someone to root against.

Class

I'm teaching a class at 3M for work this week, makes me appreciate what Jenny does - my legs are tired at the end of the day. The people are nice, but the class is pretty big so it is hard to get around to everyone. The sponsors seem to be pretty happy with how things are going so that is good.

Dominic has been doing pretty well since Easter - still a little too much yelling. Jen and I have been commenting on it, but I'm not sure he's seeing that it is not wanted. Instead I think he is doing it for attention.

Rowan has had some issues with disobeying, and taking some gum out of Jen's purse. I can't decide if he is just looking for attention, rebelling or what. I've talked to him a couple times about how Dominic might need more attention but that we love him just the same, but it may take a few more times. He is determined to act goofy, and I'm afraid something is going to have to happen before he learns it isn't always appreciated.

It makes me look at my own behavior and see maybe where it is coming from sometimes. I don't always have an answer.

Easter

Easter Sunday was fine, once we got the boys into the nursery. There was no nursery for the 8AM service - so Jenny and I traded watching the boys. Actually, Jenny did most of the watching.

Dominic has taken to screaming when he doesn't get what he wants - very annoying - and effective. Not sure yet how to stop it.

Bad Days and a Good Teacher

Dominic had a bad day Tuesday at pre-school. Hitting and acting out. Problem was a combination of tiredness from staying up late the night before, and possible trying to fixit from the staff. Monday night was the last Autism night we went to and it was about dealing with bad behavior.

Most interesting thing for me was what not to do, which turned out to be - don't do anything if you have a full on tantrum on your hands. Just stand back, give the child a quiet place to relax and let them come down on their own. Talking - no good. Explaining - no good. Also, trying to talk about the bad behavior and what not to do is not effective right away. The data wont get processed.

So Dominic started getting cranky and the staff tried to explain and talk to him and this just pushed him further into a tantrum. Finally, he just sat at a table and read a book until he was OK, and much better after a nap.

His teacher from the ECC - Ginger - came the next day and worked with the staff about finding him a quiet spot and getting him some thing to help him change his focus from whatever caused the tantrum. I like her - she seems to be able to handle and talk to kids.

Easter Sunday - three services - no telling what will happen.

Weekend Fun & Paperwork

Pretty much my weekend with the boys. Jenny had some school work to catch up on, and two extra performances at church. I did get in a long nap on Saturday afternoon - ahh bliss.

Dominic was a little cranky over the weekend, not sure if it is the lack of naps or structure or both - too soon to tell, and I've really just started paying attention. I hung out outside the Sunday School class and watched him interact with the other kids there, and it really brought home how he just doesn't know how to start interacting with other kids. He sort of wandered around the room while they were playing a movie, and did random things to different kids - touching or play hitting. I could tell that the other kids were a little freaked out by it. Rowan wasn't really helping by getting up and moving around himself.

After a few minutes I went in and had Dominic sit on my lap for the rest of the time. I'll probably have to do that again this spring off and on.

We did have fun playing at home. Dominic kicked my and Rowan's butt at Crazy Eights, and we had a good time with the computer and playing outside.

We got a large packet of information from the Alexander Center - seems like the same questions that we (I) did for the ECC, I think even the same form. Will work on those this week.

Busy week with Holy week and extra services. Will try not to do too much with the boys until Sunday.

Diversion Friday

I try and take the bus as often as I can to and from work. It takes longer - 20 minutes total - but costs less and is better for the environment. While I'm letting someone else drive, I get a chance to read (or sleep). The last few weeks I've been listening to podcasts and really enjoying the break. I've found two podcasts that have great (free) short stories:

www.escapepod.com
&
www.starshipsofa.com

I've also found a good Star Wars RPG pod cast:

www.d20radio.com

It has some cool discussion of my favorite roleplaying game.

Listening also makes the time go faster at the gym.

It could be that I'm just trying to justify my iPhone purchase.

IEP Meeting

Took the afternoon off from work yesterday for Dominic's IEP meeting. This is essentially where the teachers get together and decide what to use as benchmarks for Dominic. Mostly they broke down where he needs help - communication and integration - and devised some goals.

One interesting thing was his IQ score was part of the report, I guess I missed that during the meeting with the psychologist. Interesting to check the score again in a few years.

There were three folks from the ECC - one of them was the teacher we have had a the Autism 101 classes. Finally got to meet Ginger and she was pretty cool, and seemed enthusiastic about her job. The teachers at Small World were the most interested - they ate up everything, and asked for more.

I think Dominic is in good hands, but we are going to look at a medical diagnosis and see what other services are offered.

Bonus from yesterday was the chance to have lunch with Jen at Don Pablos, and then sit for a bit at Caribou.

Another Monday Night

Last night was another Autism meeting at the Early Childhood Center. This one was more focused on communication, and initiation - getting your child to interact with you. A lot of the session was spent on things that Dominic can do, but does not do well. He doesn't need help to wash his hands and face, but he could communicate a little better during the process.

Dominic and Rowan had an OK time at the child care, but they didn't get to go to the "gym" that they have setup because there were not enough workers. Dominic almost threw a tantrum when we were leaving, but the ladies from Small World were very good with him, and Jen did a great job of distracting him on the ride home. I think we only have one more session, and I hope they talk more about behavior, because we (I) could use some help with that - what parent couldn't.

Gaming Notes:

The GaryCon was excellent - some good adventures, even though I didn't get to run Star Wars. Lots of Scotch was consumed - and not all by me.

Jen had an OK time with the boys, and Dominic was pretty good at the birthday party on Saturday.

A Weekend Away

Geek day yesterday. Spent the whole day at a friends in Waseca (little town by Rochester) plating D&D. It has been planned for months, but with Mr. Gygax passing away this last week it turned into a memorial. We dug out a First edition module by him and ran it with his pregen characters. Fun mixed with lots of memories.

Checked in a few times with Jen to see how Dominic was doing. He had a good time at the birthday party in the afternoon. A little problem with patience, but I think he was otherwise good. It was the second party he was invited to, and the first were he had to give a present. Jen took them to the mail to play and shop for Easter clothes earlier in the day. I guess they were good, but Dominic had a hard time understanding that this wasn't going to the party, and threw a fit when they were leaving because he thought he was missing out.

Still working on transitions - they seem to be the hardest thing right now.

The official IEP meeting is Wed at the daycare. One more step.

Good Days and Goodbye

Dominic (and Rowan too) have both had good days the last few days at pre-school. Very nice not to come home to bad news - Rowan even met me at the door and told me what a good day Dominic had.

Ginger - his assigned teacher from the early childhood center - observed Dominic and seemed to get along with him very well. I think it is even more important that he gets along with the teachers at his pre-school. We have a meeting next Wed morning to setup his IEP.

On a personal note, Gary Gygax passed away this week. He "invented" role-playing games (along with some friends), and pretty much was the biggest influence on my adolescent years. I still play the latest incarnation of D&D nearly every week. And the friends I've made are my friends for life. Mr. Gygax invented something new - something that lasted, and his creation has influenced millions - positively. How many people can you say that about.

I saw him in person once, but didn't thank him. Now I wont get the chance. In place of thanks all I can do is spread the word. Tell good stories. Tell them with friends. Have Fun.

A Case for Positive Persuasion

Last night was the second night of Autism orientation at the Early Child Service Center - not sure if that is right, but I'm going with it. A very good presentation about visual schedules, and tours of a few different classrooms there. Going to try atleast some word schedules with Dominic and see how he does. Every classroom was using some form of visual schedule. Teachers find what works, and this seemed to be working.

The only downside was that Dominic threw a fit when we left because he wanted to stay in the day-care room. Evidently they had a great time in their gym and he wanted to do it again. While he still threw a tantrum, trying to bribe him with stories seemed to work best.

I think the thing I am gong to try most is the "First - Then" approach. Ex, First eat your vegetables, then get desert - or something like that.

They had a good book for sale with lots of examples, and while they seem to be for kids with more severe(?) autism, I think the principles will work out.

Science Museum

Daycare closed on Friday and it was my turn to take the boys. So I decided it would be fun to take them to the Science Museum. There was a new exhibit all about animation that looked cool.

What I didn't count on was the state wrestling tournament being held across the street, so traffic and parking was a nightmare. There were also quite a few schools there on a Friday. Anyway, the boys behaved pretty well, a bit scatterbrained and running from exhibit, but they have been begging to go back ever since.

Dominic really enjoyed himself, and didn't have any moments until we left when he screamed a bit. I think it was more frustration than anything else.

Most of the exhibits were a little advanced - too much reading, but there was plaenty to look at, and lots of fun things going on. Oh yeah, they had mac & chees & hot dogs at the cafe. I told the boys we would go back in June when they hsve the Star Wars exhibit - very cool.

Took the boys to the pool this morning while Jenny graded. Again, they were pretty good. Rowna made up a game where he yelled and then jumped into the pool. Dominic thought it was great, but he always paused and made sure I was close enough before he actually jumped. They both practiced kicking and pretty much wore me out.

We'll see how church goes Sunday. The Sunday School teachers are pretty good.

Visual Learning

Once I started looking, or maybe once I started noticing, autism seems to be everywhere. There is a great article in wired, and so many sites it is hard to keep track.

I just started reading Thinking in Pictures, and it is very interesting trying to figure out how this womans story could relate to Dominic. I think I can see some of the traits she has in him, but certainly not others.

I'm just barely out of chapter one so still to early to tell.

He has been doing very well with controlling his aggression - he may be a little more challenged now, and I think that helps. I really want to get him involved in music - I think he will enjoy it.

I have Friday off with the boys - daycare is closed - so we are going to the Science Museum. There is an exhibit on animation I think they might enjoy.

Officially ASD'd

So yesterday afternoon was the official meting with the psychologist for the School District about Dominic. He officially is diagnosed(?) with Autism Spectrum Disorder - very mild symptoms, but nonetheless. Carol and Kris were very positive about Dominic, and had some great suggestions. They are assigning him to a teacher at the center - Ginger - and will try and get him into some socialization classes there next year for a couple hours a day - probably 3 days a week.

Later that night was the first meeting for Autism 101. Some great background info, but not really enough time to get some specific strategies. I called today to sign-up for the remainder of the classes. Besides, Dominic had a great time in their day-care room! The other best part about the class was seeing about 10 of Dominic's teachers from his preschool in the class getting some training and tools. I think that this spring someone from the Autism Center for the district will be stopping by to offer them training and tools for dealing with autistic kids. There is at least one at the center now, and probably more on the way.

Not to be left out. Rowan vomited up breakfast as soon as he stepped through the door at preschool. So Jenny stayed home with him.

A pretty emotional day for everyone. I don't think I've taken it all in yet.

To the Mall and Back Again

Dominic seemed focused on riding the "roller coasters" at the Mall of America, so we went on Sat. He was pretty adventurous, but not very patient - I'll accept that. We went on the Tree Swing ride - little chairs that fly around attached to a large metal Tree. I've read about kids with autism having problems with balance or sounds but that doesn't seem to be Dominic's issue.

His big issue was leaving and going to IKEA - lots of screaming and cryingeven though I explained the schedule ahead of time. Then the kids playland was full, and by the time I figured out that's what he wants, and waited in line to get him in, it was time to go. Sigh. So we waited around for awhile - bought some food like these fabulous little cookies I'm having right now - and of course there was more crying when we left.

We had some tired boys when we got home, so after dinner and a bit of acting out it was time for bed - early. Sunday we slept in till almost 7 AM - wow.

Sunday in church was good and bad. I spent the entire car trip telling Dominic and Rowan to sit still during the children's sermon and not to touch the baptism font (no hand in the water!). Anyway there was a baptism this morning and the Pastor had all the kids gather around the font, and touch and look. I told Jenny that God was either laughing at me or had it in for me - don't know which. The boys were actually very good - go figure.

Kids church did not go well - Rowan wasn't listening, and Dominic kept screaming until the leader ignored him. Not sure what Rowan's issue is, maybe he is just trying to get some of the attention that his brother is getting. I talked with him and couldn't really get an answer. So no donuts today. Sunday school seemed to go well - the teachers both have kids that are the boys age so they have a good bag of tricks for occupying kids.

Mac and Cheese comfort food for lunch and sledding later - I'm hoping for another early night.

Monday is the meeting with the staff from Willow Lane about Dominic - they are the early child specialist that are doing the write up on Dominic, and later that night is the meeting for parents learning about autism.

Moving up to a New Room

So Dominic didn't get to go on the field trip (Rowan reported that they had a great time, five floors and an ant maze) but he did get to play in the Stars room (the older preschool room.

While there was no reported problems with aggression, he did have a potty accident. He just wont stop what he is doing to go - sigh.

On a happier note, we played Mousetrap - and we made the mousetrap work!! - and I put together Dominic's Star Wars Lego spacechip - lots of fun, and it's yellow.

I hope Dominic can stay in the Stars room - I think he might be happier there.

A Revalation at Pre-school

Dominic did not have a good day at pre-school yesterday. He acted out and hit his teacher. The rest of the kids are going on a field trip to the Children's museum, but he has to stay behind - I think he will be crushed.

However, when Jen wen to pick him up yesterday his teacher had a bit of a revelation - he is bored. They think he knows everything in the young pre-school room he is in and is just bored and frustrated. Even though he sounds like he has a large vocabulary, I think he is just copying the words he hears - combine this with a general lack of social skills, and he gets into tantrum mode pretty quickly.

His older brother is moving out of the older pre-school room this week, and they are going to transition him into the older kids room soon I hope.

I just hope he makes thru today OK.

Birthday Party

Dominic had a good day at pre-school. don't know if the kids were excited about his birthday or the cupcakes - don't care. Jenny was told that he behaved and didn't act out. Progress. He appears to be trying to join other kids in their games - better progress. He still doesn't re-act appropriately most of the time, but I think that is something that can be helped with attention and help from some kind of therapy. My biggest concern is the aggression followed by the non-appropriate behavior like screaming or repetition of words.

I've been doing some reading on Aspergers, and I think my next step is to find the thing he really likes and let him focus on that. However, the thing a four year old really likes is bound to change, but right now it is probably music - a good start.

Last night we went to Space Aliens for his birthday. It is a space themed Chuckee Cheese. he had a great time playing the games, and mac and chees for dinner is always great. He got some Star Wars Legos, and a Little Einsteins "Rocket". He seemed to love them both and took the little "Leo" character to bed.

A good day.

Bad Weekend

So I get up early, because I'm the one that is supposed to get everyone organized and out of the house. We are going to visit the boys Great Grandma - Henri. I love Henri, she is generous and a good cook to boot!

Anyway, Henri is not feeling well and tries to call us to tell us not to come. Well I got everyone on the road early so that didn't work. Henri tries to call my mom-inlaws cell phone, but she didn't think to bring it. So we don't find out until we are almost there - three hours into the trip. And we only find out because we call to see if there is anything we can bring.

So we go anyway, stay for ten minutes, and my mom-inlaw says she will buy lunch. OK, I have a terrible steak sandwich, and end up spilling my drink on the table.

All this before 1 PM on Saturday.

No sleep Sunday night - coughing child.

Rush to church where Dominic decides to put his hand in the baptismal font during the childrens sermon.

Do taxes and find out that we owe the state more than a couple hundred dollars.

Miss out on gaming convention while taking pointless trip to not see relatives.

Find out that GenCon has filed for bankruptcy - and is being accused of not donating proceeds from an auction to a charity. Very sad.

Anyway - two good things.

Went to see Juno - great movie.

Dominic had an OK weekend - he was great in the car, and better than me at the restaurant.

Anyway (part II) - today is Dominic's 4th birthday. He is very excited. Perhaps just for the cupcakes and the trip to Space Aliens tonight, but excited nonetheless.

I hope he like his presents, and I hope we didn't get too much.

Starting Over

So this used to be a gaming blog - now that the game is over, I've decided to re-purpose this blog to my other (real) life.

So what prompted this? Two things really.

My youngest son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers - a form of autism. You can't tell from where you are, but there was a long pause after that last sentence. My wife and I are trying to come to grips with this, and it is proving hard. I am not a great talker, so it is hard for me to speak rationally about something like this. I try too much just to solve the problem, and that isn't really an option. So, I'm writing to see if that helps me work out my feelings. Feelings aren't something I'm very good at.

So the second thing is actually my friend Ed's trip to India, and more specifically his writing about it. I don't get to see Ed enough, so reading his blog (elinder.livejournal.com) helps me keep in touch with him. I haven't told anyone about this blog, so it isn't really helping me keep in touch with anyone - except maybe myself.

Enough for now - next time Real Content! (no promises)